Wednesday, March 27, 2013

We're the hospital...

This week's lack of posting is brought to you by the words: violent and coughing and vomiting.

Also, explosive diapers.

You remember how the Hulk always managed to keep tattered remnants of Dr. Banner's pants over his hindquarters after he exploded all the other clothes in green muscle bound rage? Toddler Flails-a-lot can do that with diapers full of illness poo. When she's done only poop and diaper remain on her body. All the clothes, shoes, bibs, and anything she was holding in her tiny hands has been blown around the room with a smattering of pooplets.

What is illness poo, you don't ask? That is the explosive mush-poops of sick babies. So foul you can tell the person who spawned it is not well without any kind of medical degree.

This is how our day has been: Toddler Flails-a-lot coughed for a straight hour then coughed so violently she threw up multiple times in two minutes. We went to the emergency room. While at the hospital, Husband-cat suddenly handed me the baby and ran out of the room so he could be violently sick in the bathroom. The cleaning staff had to be called. When he finally came back, he was wearing a mask the nurses had made him put on. He tried to walk the halls with the baby and those nurses sent his happy ass right back into the room.

This is after two days of me being bedridden because standing was blindingly painful. Also, yesterday, the babysitter literally ran out of the baby's room because the diaper was making her puke. She left me, half awake, head pounding, with that level of toxic goop to deal with. She felt so bad she deducted her own damn paycheck. That is how gross this house has become.

On the bright side, we didn't have to stay at the hospital..., winning?

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  1. You are having all the fun. I was cursing at 4 am with baby vomit shooting down my shirt.But that ain't nothing. I do so feel so sad for your little one. Dehydration being scary. And I commend your team for their selfless stoicism.Hope you are all right as rain now.


    1. Oh god, the vomit down the shirt. You have that split second of "Noooo" and then resignation. We're lucky in that Toddler Flails-a-lot is all about the coconut water. We dilute it massively with tap water, but downs it ounces at a time so she's pretty well fueled for her epic diapers of nastiness. Not right as rain yet, but better. I'll take better.

      May your nights lack vomit...

  2. yes, winning... wishing you all health!

    1. Getting there...slowly...slower...slowest!


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