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Tuesday, January 22, 2013

My smoker's rasp brings all the boys to the bar

Apparently when you hit day 6 of intense illness you not only croak like a frog, but your voice jumps up and down the octave scale like 12-year-old boy, making me the sexiest spouse ever. You'd think Husband-cat would feel concern and worry over his dearly beloved wife.

You'd be wrong.

He felt deep and abiding humor.

Me: "It's not [deep] funny! I'm not [high pitched] doing it on pur-[crack, pitch change]-pose!" [violent coughing fit]
Him: "I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing with you."
Me: "caaawwwk"

Yes, "caaawwwk" is a sound you make when you are sick. Look it up.

Anyways, no blogs got written, no photo class reading/homework got done, my support network made sure the baby saw sunlight and mental stimulation other than her mother curled up on the couch and coughing. Basically, my life blows. The only good part of this whole thing is that I realize day-care may not be the abandonment my wholly unnecessary parental guilt is telling me it is since she will have tons of activities when I get ill -- which I will assume will be every 3 weeks until she's 3, if this keeps up.

I did mention she's not sick, didn't I? Oh no, she's spry as a chicken. So spry she reduced me to tears because she didn't want to change her diapers and I was too weak to chase, cajole or convince. I had to wait til she got near me and pounce...weakly. Toddler Flails-a-lot is the most easygoing kid you've ever met until it comes time to change clothes, then she becomes a lunatic. I already hate the terrible twos.

So enough about my miseries, here's possibly the greatest song ever sung while hung on a cross. If you laugh, it's blasphemy.



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4 comments:

  1. I see your cawwk and raise you a ha ha ha. Husband huge Monty Python fan and regularly whistles tune. He the born again non-Catholic and me the Agnostic already know our blasphemous fate.
    I remember the day I dumped my kid at the daycare. He was two and I walked straight out the door whistling a tune as well. Go for it sister. They need it as much as you do. And being sick will be a part of that scene too.
    Love and Take Care,
    Shalagh

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    1. I love the mental image of you dropping off kidlet and saying, "peace out" and then just walking right back out the effing door. That made me laugh out loud.

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  2. Ugh...this happens to me every time I get sick ... knocking on wood right now that I am not sick.

    Hope you are feeling better soon!

    Day care and small children does equal more germs ... better add those natural immune system boosters to your diet.

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    Replies
    1. I'm on it! Stuffing lettuce into my face as I type. More leafy greens!

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