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Monday, January 28, 2013

How not to plan a party

Toddler Flails-a-lot's birthday party is two weeks away.

Which is in two seconds, by how parents count time.

I'm finally starting to learn how to balance this parental energy (or lack of) with my incessant desires to go out and do shit. Take for instance, this party. Her actual birthday is next week, but once I realized I had multiple events planned the first few weekends of February, I pushed her party back. I don't remember how it was for me pre-toddler, but in parent terms two events in a weekend means Husband-cat and I are sad little piles of dust come Monday.

Doing anything when you have a child is like a freakin' mini-Everest expedition: conditions are uncertain, there's lots of steps and you're tired and elated by the time you're done and thankful to be alive. So there was no way I was cramming her birthday into any weekend where it wouldn't be the complete social focus. All eyes on the two-year-old...and my grandiose decor plans.

I had started out ambitious. I wanted a theme, everything handmade, planned and tightly curated! It would be awesome. I would design and make the invitations, banners, and giant puffy pom poms. I would paint one of those giant signs with her age and then take pictures of her in front of it. Pinterest would weep. My ideas were all exciting, invigorating, and genius and I quickly ran myself right into the ground before I could start any of them.

The invitations were the first to die the death of convenience and extended illness. Hello, E-vite, good-bye paper! Handmade garlands and giant pom poms were second to die, but they were murdered and then resurrected. Mother Magoo Suzy Orman'd me -- she vetoed my purchase of an expensive, trendy garland, then she vetoed my overeager d.i.y. ideas. Something about me being "bedridden" and needing to prepare to "file taxes" or some such nonsense. Aunt MacGuff played God, resurrecting my pom pom dreams by buying a top of line one for me (all while expressing doubts I would ever make a single one in time for the party). This, my friends, is love expressed by old biddies. It's fantastic and I'm damn lucky to have them.

Husband-cat has shut down my final burst of inspirational genius: the theme. I wanted to go with "Purgatory and Heaven". It was going to be super subtle. Food would surrounded by dark crepe paper a sea of these little baby hands.
Source: etsy.com via Sleep on Pinterest

(Hand soap set by Imaginaryanimal on Etsy)

The cakes would be surround by fluffy cloud paper and angels.
Source: etsy.com via Sleep on Pinterest

(Vintage Angel Ornaments sold by Modnique on Etsy -- bought by me!)

He shot that down so fast, the words barely had time to come out of my mouth. Apparently, "weird as hell" is a bad thing. My response was, "Why do you never appreciate my genius?!" I also may have threatened to glue those soaps shaped like baby hands to his face one night while he was sleeping. Allegedly.

Now I've just abandoned all hope of a cohesive them and am aiming straight for chaos. I have giant pom poms, vintage angels, neon Japanese animal toothpicks, a fruit patterned tablecloth, and Miffy plates and napkins. Basically, her party is going to look like a vintage shop mated with Hello Kitty.

And there's still two weeks left...



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6 comments:

  1. Chaos is the operative word my friend. And the more we think we can control it, the more it punks out. My hope for you is that the party anxiety will achieve the moment where you are at the crest of the roller coaster track looking down into the loop you're about to go into and you lose all fear.Fear just flies out of you and you are in the moment and it actually doesn't suck. Love to you and your wee one who just keeps getting bigger!
    Shalagh

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    1. At this point, I've just let it all go. Chaotic mishmash of cuteness is the name of the game now.

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  2. What you need is some elves... to help make homemade things ... and to not be sick, to be sure... wish I were there to help you make stuff.

    Honestly, this is probably the last time (until she's 15 and wearing all black and only grunting) that you could have this theme! Undercover theme it, my friend!! Undercover ...

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    1. A fleet of elves would be completely awesome. Like, mindblowing. We could sit around and drink coffee and talk about all the projects I want to do in high-pitched British voices. Every morning I would wake to a new set of things they made. We would have the best time.

      If Babycakes wears goth, she better do it right. We will critique on artistic merit and effect achievement. If she's goes dark, I expect full Romantic splendor. If not, I'll be sending her videos on how to make the perfect cat's eye effect with liner.

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  3. It all sounds very avant garde. And aren't artists who are misunderstood, later to be recognized as genius? It sounds like it will be fantastic! But stressful. Good luck!!

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    1. Now Husband-cat has come around, but I've moved on to "Chaotic Cuteness" as my theme. My current plan is to make GIANT POM POMS. I know no one thinks I will, but they are wrong! My genius lives! Who needs sleep?! Bahahahahaha

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