See this house?
|Don't be fooled by the friendly exterior|
The two little birds in the chimney, for instance. Push one down and the other pops up. They say things like, "Little bird down! Big bird up!" Which would be fine if the big bird didn't bellow his lines in an unnervingly I-will-kill-you-in-your-sleep deep male voice. When little bird chirps "tweet!", big bird barks "TWEET!" in a sarcastic and oddly emphatic manner. Loudly. Very loudly.
We expected the programming on the house to be fairly straightforward with a set number of sounds and stories. I swear to God the blasted thing goes off script at arbitrary intervals. Usually it tells the same story when you push the book button. There's a night story and a daytime story. And then every so often, on a schedule known to no one but the house, there's a random just because story. This means that every so often some voice you've never freakin' heard before comes floating out of Baby Flails-a-lot play prison.
This is not cool. Parents have preset slots in our heads to tune out the repetition of noises we hear every day. Random stories and voices throws a spanner in that filter. Keep in mind, we work from home. We are all here, all day, every day. We need those filters. We need them!
|The dreaded rolling-thingy in its natural habitat|
Let it be known. These are the invaders. Once you let them in your house you can never get rid of them, because the kid's love 'em. That's how they get you, Trojan horse style. In fact, I fully expect that whenever Baby Flails-a-lot outgrows them enough for me to disappear them, they will come back. One night, I'll go to get a midnight snack and in the darkness I'll hear "TWEET!"