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Thursday, November 10, 2011

Beauty and the Beast

It's not often the images fill me with glee and horror but this ain't your average publication.
Barbie Collector Catalog aka Plastic Anorexia Monthly
For some inexplicable reason Aunt Macguff is on their mailing list. It could be that she's a secret Barbie fetishist or, more likely, she receives it because she gets every catalog available in the continental United States. She and Mother Magoo go on catalog reading frenzies (is there a plural to frenzy?). They bring over stacks rife with dogeared pages. Items are marked because they are a) purchase worthy, b) need to be appreciated or c) mildly appalling.

Barbie Collector made it to my house last week because there was a *gasp* tattooed Barbie. Aunt Macguff found this very confusing. It goes against the grain of Barbie's plastic, fundamentally 50's heart!
 Oh, tokidoki, stop confusing the elderly with your white moll of the Yakuza dolls.
Bet you that leopard print is really screaming faces

Mother Magoo thinks that these $100 (!!!) dolls are Toddlers & Tiaras level of awful. Psycho Bambi calls it Drag Queen Barbie Quarterly.
That Psycho Bambi, always exaggerating.

Normally I'd side with them because this shit is beyond tacky--female Elvis Barbie, really?--but I can't. I'm afraid the minute I saw this
 I realized I wanted Klimt dress and hair more than anything in life and completely stopped caring about taste and good sense.
That hair!

The grown-ass, politically aware woman in me has been completely overtaken by my inner 12-year-old. All she wants is Klimt hair. And to see the new Twilight movie. Apparently this round goes to her. Maybe next time, adult self. Maybe next time.

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