Thursday, October 6, 2011

The Book of Revelations, chapter and verse

It's hard to write this without cackling. Our landlord has been FOUND OUT. That's right, all caps. And all we needed was a day garage sale-ing to get all the business.

See, we're social creatures. On sale days, we're out there in force--friends stop over, Baby Flails-a-lot attacks passers-by, we barbeque or do brunch, whatever. The Hub's specialty is chatting up the neighbors. I'm much more suspicious and prone to thinking "Who are these people? Am I gonna have to call the cops on them? Mind your business!" Meanwhile Mother Magoo is getting their life story and Husband-cat is making restaurant recommendations and loaning them our weed whacker.

So Mr. Social Butterfly aka The Hub managed to not only grill our current neighbors but actually snag two previous tenants who wandered by. The first ex-tenant hated on the landlord for doing random yard pruning without warning. It apparently consisted ripping out all living things. Our yard used to have wine vines and lovely flowering shrubs along the fence. Now it has nothing. She said the house was in terrible condition and there was no attempt at improvement.

The second ex-tenant said he asked her to move out so he could build an apartment building. She moved down the street and low and behold no apartment building was ever built. After her displacement she saw him on the street and he pretended like she wasn't there. She was convinced it was a scam so he could raise rent to the heightened bubblicious levels of the pre-Great Recession era.

Hearing all this made his silence suddenly make sense. Maybe he doesn't want to sell the place. Maybe that was his way of saying, "Shut the fuck up about the roof already. I ain't doing shit." If that was the case then our, "Hey guy, we'd like to buy this place" was not welcome news. Thus, silence.

But wait, there's more!

While we're spinning mad conspiracy theories our neighbor busts in with his tales. The apartment building was not a pipe dream or a tactic. Our house is built right on top a creek (speaking of genius). So the apartment building the landlord wanted to build was extra tall and skinny to accommodate building around the creek. But a giant multi-story complex was completely out of keeping with all the Edwardian four-plexes and Victorian houses on our street. All of our neighbors banded together to fight his (allegedly) godawful design and nothing was ever built.

Who knew there was so much drama on one block? It was stimulus overload for Hub and I. We had to marinate on all the new information to even decide what to do next. It's possible our landlord is sick of the house's maintenance and the pesky tenants and does want to sell. Or maybe he just wishes we would shut up. Or maybe he's weighing his options and testing the market. Who knows? At this point, we're moving forward like he's serious and if he's not (or he changes his mind) we'll be that much more organized and prepared for our future. To say nothing of our fabulous new garage sale tradition.

And the garage roof? Thanks to our agitating it was fixed last week. Just in time for the rainy season.

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