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Thursday, August 4, 2011

Kickin' mad flava in yo' mouth

Just started to organize and edit my thousand pictures of Korea and Palau (I'm lying, it's totally over a thousand), so today I will not talk of travel. I will instead talk why hipsters are a scourge of the food industry.

There is a nasty food trend chocolatiers and ice cream makers have been on for the last few years -- namely, "exotic" and "edgy" flavors. I realize experimentation is the name of the game in gourmet dining (I'm using liquid nitrogen! Look at meeeeee!), but when did tasting good fall out of the equation? This is where I blame hipsters. They eat out a lot and spend all their money on food and clothes (I generalize wildly) so the chocolate & ice cream people are merely catering to it-has-to-be-new-even-if-ugly aesthetic.

Look at the hipsters you see on the street. Their clothes are invariably ill-fitting and some godawful color like baby crap brown. Are you a man with a concave chest? Clearly you need a tight fitting ironic tee to show off your rib bones. Are you a woman with some curves? Tight ass corduroy pants in mold green which give you muffin top and a clashing button-down honky-tonk shirt and you are good to go!

This mismatch of the overstudied and unattractive as a style is reflected in the food choices that are fast becoming the norm in uppity food circles. Cardamom is everywhere even though it is a difficult spice to pair smoothly with chocolate or ice cream. Same with balsamic vinegar. Husband-cat and I recently ate a Strawberry Balsamic Vinegar ice cream sundae from Bi-Rite Creamery in San Francisco. The friggin' line for this place was a block long and we'd just come from the Bi-Rite Market (needed to try some Droga rocky road) so we figured we'd take the plunge.

The quality was above average, but my God...it was well-made meh. There was all this effort and quality ingredients to produce excellently made yet not delicious ice cream. It was good enough, but I kept asking myself, what's the point of this? Amazing in execution, but not in eating.

I don't know how to reverse this trend, but I have an idea. From now on, when that lemon/bell pepper/chocolate blend sours in your mouth, punch a hipster. It's not a solution, but it's a start.

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