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Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Series of random thoughts

Just got back from the world's longest drive -- Los Angeles to Oakland -- so everyone's getting a big bucket of random!

1) LA looks like a giant blob of cheap-ass stucco rolled over a wide expanse of scrubland, leaving nothing but varying shades of beige-y buildings behind it. Well, the blob also had a cement streak which birthed the endless freeways.

2) The animated "depressed woman" character on Abilify commercials looks the mom from the Incredibles. Pixar must be freelancing.

3) Both Husband-cat and I have a difficult time with the Happy Endings sitcom. Outside of idiotic name, the premise is that a group of friends tries to maintain group cohesion after one of the group leaves another member at the altar after sleeping with a random guy. Both of us thinks the heifer needs to get a beat down, not be the center of a sitcom. In reality, the guy would be left at the altar, but the girl would have been left in life. C'mon, who would you side with in this premise?

4) On the freeway right outside of Oakland there was construction and slowed traffic. At 10pm that is not some shit you want to see. Our side is four lanes deep and construction = resurfacing. Happy news, except they kept closing each open lane of traffic, one after another. Now closing two lanes I could understand but these motherfuckers got cute and got us down to one and a half lanes using frickin' flares. I was so insulted I had to talk to them like a crazy person. I faux yelled* through my closed window (it was cold), "Flares!!?? You need to use flares cause you were so god-damned surprised you did it? Is it an accident you gave us a sad sack a half a lane? For a million cars and semis? At least give us this giant-ass shoulder to drive on! Nooooo, you just had to grade all the road like a greedy guts. Hope those tiny flames keeping the cones warm, you bastards!"

In my defense it was 10pm and we had left LA at 2pm.**

5) Trying to shield a baby's eyes from sunlight on a car trip is like trying to protect a target from long range sniper fire. You have no idea where the damn light is coming from. We have those screens that suction to the window and they did no good. I still had to periodically hand shield Baby Flails-a-lot from the devil sun. If they have sunglasses for babies, I'm getting them.

6) After a long trip eating crap food, eating a giant bowl of steamed peas and corn does not actually replace all the healthy food you should have been eating.

* Faux yelling is when you curse somebody and gesticulate wildly but are not actually loud enough to wake a sleeping baby. I was angry, not stupid.

** Not in my defense, Husband-cat thought I was a lunatic.

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