Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Lopsided baby!

Oh god, its finally happened. Found a flaw on my perfect infant -- asymmetrical dimples! Okay, I know nothing's set in stone and she's not old enough at three months to tell, but I counter that with AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! So there.

She has not one, but two dimples on the left side of her face and none on the right side of her face. I'm not understanding this genetic math. Two parents with four symmetrical dimples between them = one infant, two lopsided dimples? What?! I would have expected some lateral movement like chin dimple or middle-of-the-cheek dimples. Not this accumulation. If we have a second child will they have two on right side of their face? A third child would have none? Damn genetic unpredictability!

Of course, we're still waiting for Baby Flails-a-lot's features to mature (like fine wine. mmmmmm, wine). Her nose has asserted itself as a clone of mine, but the eyes are still stubbornly blue. She has a serious case of Reverse Pattern Baldness – a combover of new hair is coming in on top (swirls!) while the back fringe is thickening, leaving a ring of semi-baldness in the middle. The Hub and I think it's hilarious and have taken many photos, but Mother Magoo and Aunt MacGuff do not think we're funny. Considering Aunt MacGuff swears Baby Flails-a-lot looks just like Hub Senior, I'm not certain they have a leg to stand on.

Here's how Baby Flails-a-lot and Hub Senior resemble each other: They're bald. That's it. The one feature they have in common. In no other way do they look alike. Hub Senior is a perfectly normal looking man. Baby Flails-a-lot looks like an adorable bobble head doll. A human Hello Kitty, if you will.

Which brings me back to dimples. Mini-cheek divots. The indentations running rampant in my gene pool. If I must accept an unbalanced child I will, but only if the universe rewards me with mirror-image dimples for our (theoretical) second child. Then balance will be restored to the universe. Just like the Force.

1 comment:

  1. I like the idea of two on one side... I would like it better if I could have one... always wanted a dimple, just one.


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