Thursday, December 2, 2010

Urban wildlife and you!

Another day, another entirely useless human being wastes our time. In our ongoing saga of getting the crap kicked out of our yard by raccoons and skunks we decided to call in human reinforcements, strikebreakers for the four-legged set, if you will. And what did this waste-of-space flesh-bag do? Wandered around our yard and jabber at Husband-cat for a half hour about his stupid opinions on life. And what did he offer to do after this rambling speech? To trap the animals and then….wait for it…let them loose in our yard again! Yes, ladies and gents, apparently Vector Animal Control no longer removes pests, they trap them for your viewing pleasure and then let them free again, right where they found them. He said he could loose them in our neighbor's yard if we'd like. Yes, that would completely endear us to the neighbor (Hi Mr. Rogers, have a raccoon!).
My version would have animal heads in a line, but I'd keep the cute borders
All of which begs the question: Why the HELL didn't they tell me this on the phone when I made the appointment? Just because we work from home does not mean we want our time to be frittered away by bored County employees who don't get out enough and don't have friends. To add insult to injury, this is the second random person this week who decided Husband-cat needed to hear their endless opinions on life. The first was a man going through our cans who decided to share his indirect, yet overtly racist views on the world while The Hub was taking our recycling to the curb. ("We went to the moon!" he says, as if that somehow makes Whites the master race.) The Hub manfully refrained from saying, "Gee I hope one day my colored kid gets into space." which I thought was very big of him. We have a general policy of not arguing with crazy and who wants to debate race with a man going through your cans?

Why little birdie, what cute hole you're digging!
The upshot is that our yard still looks like crap and The Hub has decided his boyish features puts people in the "Lemme tell ya, son" mood to share. He now accepts it as a side effect of being one of those Dorian Gray men who never age. Or as I told him, "It's just 'cause you're so damn pretty!"

1 comment:

  1. I will give you a hint with the skunks... They travel a circuit. You are on the circuit because they can get in and out easily. So, inspect the fence, or stay up and watch them come in and go out. Once you cover the easy access points, they just shift their circuit.

    It worked for us when I lived on Monte Vista.

    This is raccoon make a nest season ... so you need to be really careful to make all nesting spots super inhospitable. Easy in and out is also useful to these critters. Covering holes, placing obstructions in front of gaps in walls, fences...

    If you have an open backyard with too many entry points to police, then you may just have to learn how to co-exist.

    There is skunk guy you can call but you will have to pay him... and he might tell you what I have just told you.

    I got the info off the internet when I was battling the critters in my backyard. Ultimately, I limited the access to the raccoons (because they were super big) but the skunks and I became friends (ie I could not get rid of them)... I would just make a lot of noise coming through the fence at night and they would vamoose.

    good luck!


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