Thursday, December 16, 2010

Herding cats... flying, maniacal cats

The Hub and I are determined to get out at least once a weekend and enjoy life in the Bay Area before Baby Skullhead's arrival grounds us. This reaffirms our commitment to having a life, spending time with family, and our mutual love of beautiful things. It also means we're frequently in battle before we even get to our destination.

Somehow in my fantasy life, having a social life is the simplest thing in the world. You put the word out, people say they are in or out, and on the appointed day you show up and it's all good. In reality, there's always masses of coordination. If we're dealing with my family, someone always gets the date or time wrong. Last weekend it was Mother Magoo, who called me to complain that no one ever set a time for our visit to Oakland Museum's Pixar: 25 years of animation exhibit. Of course, I enjoyed informing her that not only had I set a time with her the previous day, I could tell her exactly when we had the conversation and who I called after I talked to her. Ah, the little victories you can win over other family members. You have to enjoy them while you can. Not that she conceded, but I was smug enough that she gave it up as a lost cause.

I'd say our outings are like herding cats, but they are more like cats with wings. Once we're at events, my family has a tendency to disappear in the blink of eye. Aunt MacGuff is a genius at this. Houdini has nothing on her – she's a little old lady who can't move quickly if you are looking at her, but take your eyes off of her and *POOF* she's gone.

Mother Magoo has a harder time disappearing because she generally uses a wheelchair to spare her bad knees the stress of walking. This inevitably leads to multiple consequences:
1) Aunt MacGuff attempts to push mom even though MacGuff runs mom into the walls at the best of times and is now working with a broken elbow that doesn't improve her aim.
2) Mother Magoo unrepentantly runs into strangers with her wheelchair while looking at exhibits.
3) I become very aggressive towards the jackasses who walk in front of her wheelchair to see better (really, you can't see this goddamn chair? Well how 'bout my foot in your ass?).
4) All of the above.

So these outings are always an adventure. I'm glad we go, but it makes our weekends somewhat less than relaxing.

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