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Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Getting Saucy at the DMV

People talk mad shit about the DMV and how rude the staff is, but from my experience the real problem is with the customers. Most people I've seen at the DMV are both unbelievably entitled (your fees are too high! my taxes pay your salary!) and incredibly stupid. I assume most of these folks are functional in their regular life, but get them in front of some clerk making crap wages and they turn into gibbering idiots. Yes, the rules and fees are insane, but the clerks aren't sitting in back rooms coming up with this stuff, people!

Anyway, Husband-cat and I recently trundled down to the local Oakland DMV with a miles-long list of things we needed done. Our clerk -- typical of the breed: twenties, busy, unimpressed with the mass of humanity she was seeing but not outright rude unless pushed -- is typing madly away at her terminal, I'm reviewing the list and Husband-cat is zoning out. That's the stage. Then one of her co-workers walks behind her and, speaking to someone else, says, "Hey baby" with a weird ventriloquist effect that made it seem like our clerk had just said it to me. I look up from my list in surprise and stare at her like, "Well, hello to you, too!" Husband-cat, still in outer space, only hears "baby" so he adds to the bizarre scene by rubbing my stomach while I'm staring at the clerk. The clerk has no idea why I'm staring at her and asks me some random question I can't answer 'cause I'm waiting to see where her unexpected sauciness is going.

So of course I have to confess that as illogical as it sounds I swear she just called me baby. I know it's insane, but it seemed so real! Fortunately, she appreciated the ridiculousness of the come-on and, instead of calling security, joined us in maniacal laughter, right there amidst all the angry citizenry. So if you hear crazy-person laughter at the Oakland DMV it could someone having a psychotic break or it could be us.

2 comments:

  1. every one needs a little crazy laughing... every one... me especially at this moment...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Just do it! Maniacal laughter is best. I highly recommend a good mad scientist "B'wahhahahaha!"

    ReplyDelete

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