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Monday, October 4, 2010

My inner psychopath

On the topic of stupid, why do small people mouth off to others bigger than them? I ask this as a near six foot Amazon. I don't think of myself as imposing, but if I outweigh you by fifty pounds, you might need a medic. Classic example: this granola fed, whippet-thin librarian decided to get snide with me upon the advent of my book return. I was so surprised I just stared at her.

Your neck is so thin, I thought to myself calmly, I bet I could wrap my whole hand around it. In fact, without undue strain, I could yank your uppity ass across this counter while screaming, "How you like these apples?! You like 'em?" And that my friend, would be both funny and deserved. Then, of course, I had to remind my inner psychopath, that thoughts like these were why I didn't carry matches on my person. Things that cause flame are a bad idea when you have an inner psychopath that thinks setting people on fire is a reasonable idea.

2 comments:

  1. umm...strong, but I guess not inappropriate... it must be like the little yappy dogs. They always want to tell some big dog off. In general those big dogs just look amused at the little dogs. Perhaps their inner psychopaths are also dreaming up doomsday scenarios for those little dogs ... like one bite?

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  2. True. She could be look at me, thinking "I can take on this overfed milk-sop! I'm wiry!"

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